USDA Announces Terminated Probationary Employees Will Receive Backpay, Return To Work Planned.

Also, how did the Long Island Fires Start? S'mores.

First, just to quickly get this out of the way for those asking, “How did the Long Island fires start?”

No, it wasn’t direct energy weapons, terrorists, communists, right-wing extremists, or aliens. According to local fire investigators, they believe the culprit was a gooey concoction of chocolate, marshmallows, and graham crackers.

Investigators are fo…